Trust Me

So I’ve been writing a lot about the importance of positive relationships and school culture these days, and one day I’m sure I’ll change my focus to something else, but today is not that day. Today I want to briefly talk about what’s at the core of both of these things, and the one thing that drives all of our relationships, our school initiatives, and our daily interactions with each other…today I want to talk about trust. The thing about trust is that it looks different for everyone, and inevitably it takes time to arrive at a place where a solid foundation is set in both our individual, personal relationships, and in larger groups like grade level teams, departments, and in a whole school faculty. Some people are trusting by nature, even to a fault, while others are more reserved and cautious depending on past experiences. It can be hard to give over your trust to someone you don’t really know, and even harder to rebuild trust once it’s broken, and the really tricky bit is that without trust, nothing meaningful will ever happen in schools.

If you look deeply into what separates a great school from good one, it ultimately comes down to the level of trust that people have with each other. In great schools leaders trust people to do their jobs and they don’t micromanage, teachers trust each other and are vulnerable enough to share what’s working and NOT working in their classrooms, people have the courage to have hard conversations with each other while presuming positive intent, and in great schools there is a trust that all decisions are being made around what’s best for students and student learning. Ernest Hemingway said it best in the quote below, “the best way to find out if you can trust someone is to trust them”, and as we dig into some transformational work over the next couple of years, we need to continue to trust each other…nothing is more important and foundational than that.

Obviously, it’s very easy to say go trust someone and much harder to actually do it, and if you find yourself struggling for whatever reason to trust a person or to be trusting in a larger group setting, the best way forward is to identify what it is that’s stopping you and act. A perfect example of this happened to me last week, when I was involved in a miscommunication with a couple of teachers, which could have negatively  impacted our relationship had we not sat down and cleared it up with a some difficult conversations. In the end, these conversations identified the miscommunication, cleared up some expectations, and ultimately strengthened our relationships. Our level of trust with each other increased dramatically because we had the courage to talk about it and not let it linger and fester and grow into resentment. A major component of building trust is the ability that we all have to confront issues that can possibly be divisive, and to have these difficult conversations from a place of positive intent. In the end we all want the same things…to be valued, to be heard, to be respected, and to do what’s best for our school and each other…and it all comes down to trust.

So, I’m asking us all this week to look inwardly and to identify anything that might be stopping you from trusting someone, or from being a trusted member of a group. Then, find the courage to move past it through a conversation, some self reflection, or a simple re-set of mindset, and then…take the leap! Think about Hemingway’s quote and trust someone…it’ll make all the difference. Have a great week everyone and remember to be great for our students and good to each other.

 

Quote of the Week…

The best way to find out if you can trust someone is to trust them

– Ernest Hemingway

 

Inspiring Videos –

Prom Dates

Show Love

 

Related Articles –

The Importance of Building Trust

Workplace Trust

A Trusting Classroom

Building Trust

Teach for All

The Trust Factor

 

TED Talks –

What We Don’t Understand About Trust

How to Build and Re-Build Trust

 

Simon Sinek –

Committed Leadership

About Daniel Kerr

Dan Kerr is now Lower School Director at the American School of Paris. He previously served as Intermediate Division Principal at Academia Cotopaxi American International School in Quito, Ecuador, and prior to that was the Middle School Principal at SCIS in Shanghai, China. Dan has also worked at JIS in Jakarta, Indonesia and he began his International career in Abu Dhabi. Dan is thrilled to be joining the ASP family and will be accompanied by his wife, Jocelyn, who will be working as a counselor, and his two children, Max and Gabby. 
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