My daughter once told me about a teacher who gave her back an assignment with a grade that she was not happy with. The teacher could see the dissatisfaction in her eyes and went to the trouble to keep her back after class. The teacher looked my daughter in the eyes and told her that she believed in her and that she knew that she could attain the top grade, even if it was not the case for this assignment. When my daughter completed the subject examinations and received her diploma, lo and behold, she had attained the top grade.  When I asked her about her performance, she told me the story of the teacher who believed in her, and that this had been a core motivational factor. 

Philosophical discussions about the value of the “top grade”, the sometimes undesirable effects of our grading system aside, what was powerful about that exchange was a very simple message: I believe in you, you can do it. What a message like that does, when it is sincere and comes from the heart, is it gives confidence, and confidence can move mountains. 

What is the purpose of an education? We all know that the core idea of the transmission of knowledge and skills is central. However, if the big picture is to prepare young people for life, to form them and train them to be ready to thrive in the world and to contribute to public goods, then it is clear that there is much more than knowledge and technical skill development at stake. Fundamentally, they need to go out into the world being able to do something. This is not a mechanical exercise, it is a social, psychological and emotional one too.  

It has become increasingly clear over the past years, and increasingly broadcast and integrated into curriculum design, that interpersonal and intrapersonal qualities need to be nurtured in a good education as much as, if not more than, knowledge and technical skill. Decision-making, self-knowledge, teamwork, conflict resolution, followship and negotiation skills are all vitaly important competences that should be developed in school and university and in the workplace too (education continues for adults in the way in which they are coached and developed by their supervisors: learning is a lifelong enterprise).  

It would be difficult to find anyone who would disagree that confidence in oneself is central. When you believe in yourself and can ideate the successful outcome or goal that lies before you in space and time, see it in your mind’s eye, when you know that you can do something remarkable, it lifts you to extraordinary heights and pushes you to dare to do things that you would not otherwise consider.

Of course, there has to be some substance behind confidence: it has to be grounded in some truth. Praise has to be sincere, not fatuous. If a student’s work is substandard or if a colleague does something mediocre or poor, we have to have the courage to give helpful, tactful but corrective feedback, not praise. Congratulating someone for a job badly done or saying that you believe in them when you don’t doesn’t work: the insincerity makes it hollow. Remaining in a state of unconscious incompetence comes about when feedback is not honest.

However, every person does have something special in them: we all have some gift, or even several gifts that the skilled eye can see, the wise mentor can observe, and it is in moments like these, when we see a gift that we should give encouragement. The person holding the gift feels the alignment of what is seen and what is, there is a feeling of truth that is created and that becomes a powerful reinforcement, flowing into the energy of confidence, that intricate mental and emotional network that lights up every muscle and neuron in your being.  

So think about your students and colleagues, about what they do really well and tell them. Make the moment special, do it occasionally and enjoy that beautiful moment of giving real, genuine praise. Above all, let them know that you believe in them, that they can go far with that gift: it gives confidence, and confidence can move mountains.